TO LOVE IS TO RISK REJECTION,
TO LIVE IS TO RISK DYING,
TO LAUGH IS TO RISK APPEARING THE FOOL,
TO WEEP IS TO RISK APPEARING SENTIMENTAL,
TO REACH OUT FOR ANOTHER IS TO RISK INVOLVEMENT,
TO EXPOSE FEELINGS IS TO RISK EXPOSING THE SELF,
TO PLACE IDEAS AND DREAMS BEFORE THE CROWD IS TO RISK LOSS,
TO HOPE IS TO RISK DESPAIR,
TO TRY AT ALL IS TO RISK FAILURE,
BUT RISK WE MUST,
BECAUSE THE GREATEST HAZARD OF ALL IS TO RISK NOTHING,
FOR THOSE WHO RISK NOTHING, DO NOTHING, HAVE NOTHING, ARE NOTHING.

*There are so many things I want to change, in retrospect about my life.  But I know that I took the risks necessary in order to learn from my mistakes and take full responsibility for my actions, with no regrets. I am done with those stupid excuses of "what if..." and such uncertain statements. I have begun a new perspective on life. Carpe diem-in a responsible way, of coarse.  As stupid/cliche as this sounds, I really believe in making my life purposeful, in helping others when I can. Going out to California will be fun, but my purpose lies the same-to make a difference. 

*On another note, I have been asked many times my college plans. For my first year, I will be going to UCLA. I have a year (I deferred my application) to decide whether the military life is for me. Right now, I have my reservations about that. Looking at the hypocrisy, selfishness, and superficial lies of many peers disheartens me. I don't know any rational person that would, after seeing all this, sacrifice their entire lives for idiots and hypocrites and assholes.  I'm not being judgemental, I'm being truthful. I see some people that really make me wonder, "Why should I die for an asshole like you?" "Why should I train and suffer in my life for you to take it for granted everyday the soldiers and families of the soldiers who sacrifice so much?" It would be so much easier if I wasn't so "pensive" sometimes. We shall see. In a year the decision will be final.

*Also, it is not fair for some people to be saying that they don't need to be friends with others since college will seperate everyone.  Most people have similar break schedules and will actually be home/back in town during their breaks. It's a small world with the technology we have today (facebook it!), and you never know who's going to end up being your boss, your employee, or co-worker. Besides, it's worth the effort keeping in touch with those who are closest to you, and is a true test of friendship for those who are more like acquaintences. I am staying really open-minded, and won't hesitate to keep in touch with the east coast college ppl. By the way, if anyone ever wants to crash at my dorm and visit SoCal anytime during the year, be my guest to contact me and come!  Otherwise, I would be willing to make the investment to go see all the east coast kids, since its more economically efficient if I (one person) come to the east coast instead of have everyone come visit me. However, feel free to visit since it's sooooooo nice there. Palm trees and boba tea all the way. Hells yea.

*I am sooooo glad mommy and daddy did not buy me a car this year-it would have been a pain in the ass to ship over to CA by truck. Long story short, I'm prolly getting a shiny set of wheels in CA for soph year, and SOOOOOOOOOOO excited about getting a Cali license plate lol. Those thingies are so bangin. Aha anyways. Um. I'm def. gonna be getting a new camera before I leave for school too. I'm such a camera whore. But I delete the bad pics lol. Or at least the incriminating ones.....   

PEACE

Currently Reading The World Is Flat [Updated and Expanded] : A Brief History of the Twenty-first Century By Thomas L. Friedman see related

image in the form of first impressions are unavoidable. there is not a single person that doesnt judge others a single bit by their appearence, and if you think that you don't, you need to wake up and stop bullshitting yourself. lemmie clarify. i hate the way that we do this to each other. it's almost tragic the way society places so much emphasis on advertising and marketing to form the contorted images of what people should or should not look like, do, feel, say, think, etc.

put it this way. no matter how well you get to know someone, there will always be something about them that others sees as a "flaw" that could be improved. hence, humans are not perfect. besides, the ideal of "perfect" was created by the media in the first place. define perfect??

the opportunity costs of certain things right now for some people are greater than the marginal benefits of others. thus, such is life. im not gonna lie and say that im no longer a perfectionist or a brutally honest person, but what i will say is that ive definitely grown so much the past year, and have picked up the pieces and moved on. i learned so much after "failing," in more aspects than one. im not afraid to admit my faults, or that certain people have carried me through much more than i deserve, but it's true. the transformation physically, mentally, and emotionally has given me the broadest perspective.

everyone's opinions and judgements of others differs, so there will be many "conflicts" so to speak, small or large scale for the future. how one deals with them makes the character that we see, and defines personality. for now, im settled with who i have become, and hope to use the things i have learned to apply them to a broader horizon, to reach out to others. big goal right? im going to make a difference. motivation is the strongest drive, and it's something that has kept me going through the toughest times.  

Currently Listening Me & U By Cassie Me & U (Remix) see related

Kristine is a genius...check it.

The Non-Relationship Relationship
The state of two people that are attached like a couple, function as a couple, have similiar limitations as a couple, yet refuse to call themselves "a couple" often due to the relationship phobias of at least one of the two parties involved.

The Pros
There is never any smothering or suffocating. Both parties get to keep their "freedom" to do what they need to do without being afraid of losing the other due to neglience. There is often a lot of support and encouragement for each other's seperate lives to be successful. In most cases, there's an agreeance on monogamy so there aren't many fears of betrayal. Finally, without expectations or obligations, everything given is a pleasant surprise.

The Cons
There is never any legitimate reason for jealousy. If one party falls weak and becomes reasonably or unreasonably needy, the other has no obligation to be there. There can be many long periods of loneliness, emotional nonfulfillment, and confusion. Nothing is ever clear. It's often difficult to talk about or introduce the significant other because such terms as "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" are banned from the non-relationship relationship vocabulary. Often times, one, if not both parties want more but are too paralyzed by their fears to do anything about it. Ultimately, someone always get hurts.

The Non-Break-Up Break-Up
This is the one point that confusingly falls in both lists as a pro and a con. Without a relationship, there is no break-up. Since there is no begining, there is no end. It's like it never existed.

A Warning
The allure and excitement of a no-strings-attached game quickly fades when invisible strings form, and in every game there will be a winner and a loser. Despite what you may believe, you both have equal chances of turning out as either.

Good luck.